You can't sunbathe in a hurricane

I was advised last year not to look at too much news but rather to ration the news to one bulletin per day. This is good advice, but I acknowledge that I’m finding it difficult for three reasons. First, it is automatic. Taking up the phone is now a force of habit and is done without thinking. Second, the response to this pandemic demands we stay apart from people. Looking at the phone is a way of finding out is anyone out there. Third, I am taking up the phone to see the news in the hope that there are hints of a good news story in the midst of the misery.

Of course we are not alone and without a doubt there is solidarity in that we are all in this together. Social media has afforded us the mechanism to reach out in a myriad of ways not least in making us smile and laugh. However, sometimes we can’t help feeling alone in the eye of the storm and the construction of a word or a sentence on a WhatsApp group can take a few attempts. Sometimes it’s better to say nothing or hope they will say are you okay?

Prayer is a challenge too. The unbeliever would say despite all the prayers in 2020, millions still got sick and died of Covid 19. The believer would say that God hears our prayers and through medical science, nursing and medical staff, care staff, and front-line staff, the Holy Spirit is working in the world. And for people who regularly turn to prayer for themselves and for others and are finding it a challenge, the saying ‘You can’t sunbathe in a hurricane’ makes sense.

Since all this began, I’ve sat quietly with the Lord. I don’t mind admitting I’ve felt it is a one-way street, that I am getting no answers to my prayers for an end to this thing. I know that believers in their millions have been asking God for the same thing. Many of them have had terrible times in that they have lost loved ones and have become sick themselves.  Here in our corner of the world, we’ve prayed the Mass on Facebook each day and the Rosary each evening. We have been joined by an increasing international number of our Rosary family. This has been a wonderful blessing.

Prayer does work and miracles do happen. I am contacted daily through three different Facebook feeds for prayers for intentions. People reach out in desperation and many are at their wits end. Naturally, there might be no answer in this world and sometimes the answer to prayers will not work out the way we wish.  Yet many more get back in touch with gratitude for prayers answered too.  I find myself being joyful when someone thanks me for prayers that were answered, and I get discouraged when there is no earthly answer. Sometimes the discouragement is compounded depending on what kind of form I am in. Covid 19 has sometimes succeeded in frightening me and this has a bearing on whether I am happy or sad.

Even though I’m faithful to the Government guidelines, the fear is that I will wake up with Covid. I develop symptoms regularly in my head. And if I do not feel them, it must be because I am asymptomatic. If I do not get Covid, surely someone I love will and worse still, it will be my fault for not staying at home like NPHET says we should. Hands up who else feels like that? Fear and isolation can do this to us on the inside. So, we hope and pray for an end to this and its coming. While prayer is tough now and putting language on how we feel is difficult, I refuse to give up on hope. Still, there is not a lot left in the tank.